Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Separate Peace (Thanks to John Knowles for Title)

Petite and Sexy  - auburn haired olive skinned Jewess - successful artist, seeks sensitive, intelligent M. 35-45 with wit and soul for serious passionate relationship.

This was the ad I placed in the personals in NY magazine before, J-Date, E- Harmony and OMG-I-can'

"Come on. We can do this together and compare notes", said Susie. 
What have you got to lose - it will be fun.
In spite of myself I composed an ad.  Much to my amazement  an abundance of mail poured in. Professionals, uber professional, and assorted weirdos. I had not requested a photo, always thinking it a bit unfair but soon wished I had. Susie helped me sort through the stack.  She came upon a letter and photo of a handsome, distinguished looking man, in a suit, glasses, and lots of brown hair brushed back. His letter was articulate and thoughtful with all words spelled correctly. He was a VP at a Wall St. firm but not your 'conventional' type as he rode a BMW motorcycle;  a former musician who still played a mean guitar.  He was 'seeking a mutually nurturing relationship'.
You know, I can really see you with this guy.
David and Jessica's wedding Day
I don't  know.
For whatever prompted me I gave him a call. do you really want to do this thing?  (you don't really want to do this thing do you?)
Sure why not?
Jeremy Gerard  2 yrs. old
We met at the Chelsea Hotel and had a long, long dinner. He was a good listener, highly intelligent and kind.  The next day I received a bouquet of flowers. Ok, a little corny, I thought but my addiction to romance had won me over.
As not to draw this saga on too long......after three months he moved in. Another three we were married at City Hall. Three months after that we were married again (why?) at the Plaza Hotel. A beautiful Sunday afternoon affair for all our friends and family to enjoy. Some I have not seen since. About nine months later I gave birth to a perfect, beautiful baby boy. He was loved and adored and continues to be. Our nuclear family enjoyed about 14 years of Leave it to Beaver bliss. Around the fifteenth year things began to unravel......and ....unravel...... until the twenty second year nothing was left but the remnant of the long thin thread that had once tied us so tightly together.
The sordid details shall remain silent to protect the guilty.
What started as normal petty annoyances, turned into mistrust, accusations and arguments with full blown imploding anger leading to unhealthy stress. Large sums of money were lost, financial pressure and opposing child rearing conflicts became the order of the day. To salvage what remained of out damaged psyches, we have separated. Our son, (now 21) who has always been his own person, encouraged us to PLEASE DO NOT STAY TOGETHER!
I have found a modest, light filled apartment. We began to divide our material possessions.  Neither wanted anything. No expensive carpets, no antiques, no dishes, no cut glass heirlooms. A new twist: you take it---no you take it!
Ten years ago I was living exactly a block away in an expensive carriage house on 3/4 of an acre.  A large deck encased a hot tub, sporting a state of the art grill and pricey patio furniture which allowed for great barbecues with friends and neighbors. Did I mention the long winding gravel driveway?  The cute shed book ended by beautiful wildflower cutting gardens I had lovingly planted? Atop the shed was a cupola. Atop the cupola was a rooster perched on an arrow. In the midst of a bad storm the arrow had spun south.
"David and Jessica"  mixed media on canvas
Life continues to be an ever turning wheel.  Nothing stays the same. Time marches on and destinies march with it. We can only go with the unavoidable but necessary changes hopefully finding purpose as our  lives unfold.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Jess,

    Life also teaches us that material things come and go...but the good things that come from a life well lived, like art, memories, a beautiful son, stay with us forever. And as your father said, in the end, we all want more of it. Whatever life brings.

    Your friend for life,