"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."     T.S.Eliot

I'm starting a blog to hopefully make sense of what I have been doing with myself for the last 35 years. The plan is to give myself a mini retrospective  - or introspective as the case may be. The idea is to sort through journals, notebooks,  sketches and photographs, put them in some kind of order - maybe chronological, maybe emotional, and post them for whoever is interested to see.  Some of the work is terrible, some mediocre, and some great. I plan to show the great stuff.  The art world is, for the most part, a seemingly impenetrable profession. Artists appreciate art most of all - I have come to think of myself as an "artist's artist", as the ones who truly love and understand my work have for the most part been other artists whose work, I might add, I mutually admire.
I have come to realize at this stage in my life, I no longer have the luxury to stay in my studio and create art, but too quickly approaching the fearful (and incredulous) age of 60.  Have to figure out Plan B - second half of life.  And finding myself with no skills except having some artistic talent which doesn't get one too far these days, I am in the challenging position (after a long and prosperous run) of having to make some money. Things are further complicated by my immobilization brought on by such things as depression, fear, anger and anxiety to name a few. Armed with these insights, I have begun.

"The worst thing that being an artist can do to you is that it would  make you slightly unhappy constantly"  - J. D. Salinger  - De Daumier Smith's Blue Period.

In the Studio, Etching

Let me pessimistically add: for the rest of your life. Although trying hard to dispel the myth. This is the 2nd installment of the already stalled blog.  My mind is scattered, unfocused, searching for the hook that will reel me in to the real. I have about 100 yet un-scanned pieces of art. It will be a slow and steady stream of imagery until a story  will unfold and becomes told.  A peace-offering to my soul. Imagery as poetry? 

I am hard on myself enough without the extra scrutiny, hyper- self-focus and perfectionist problems.  I finally figured out that,
despite controlling my art, I could not carry this over to my life.  Someone once said and I misquote - " art is 10% talent and 90% staying power." This is the truth. Although no one could have persuaded me to do anything else at the time, I probably picked the wrong profession.